“Beena” 

“Mmm..... “She is half asleep in the sofa. (Mmm... in her sleepy language means yes what can I do?)

She had been to the farm and had just returned. Must be very tired and fagged out

“What are you planning to make today?”

 “Mmmhmhm    ...”        (I don’t know Raju.  I am very tired.  Let me sleep)

“I want to make Vegetable Pulav.” There was a hint of..' see how considerate I am', in my tone. Totally wasted on a sleeping beauty.

“Hamm” mild stirring (Go ahead. for that why do you want to wake me up?)

“I just want a few clarifications. Which boils faster carrot or beans?”

“Unnhch?” (what!!!)..... A slight movement of the head some questions and actions of mine shock her even while she is asleep

“I want to know which one I should put first for boiling. Carrot or Beans”

 “Put everything in cooker” Beena comes to life.

“No! No! I don’t want the vegetable to be overcooked.”

Don’t I know that the essence of the Pulav is in maintaining the discrete identity of the constituents (vegetables, rice and flavours).Otherwise it would become Biriyani or Bath. (Please refer to my prize winning article titled “comparative analysis of vegetable pulav,vegetable biryani and vegetable bath “which appeared in the monthly journal of “vegetarian for life”, a scientific journal dedicated to the cause of vegetarianism.)

“Beens then carrots.”  

“What about Alu?”

“Put it...”

“With what ma? Beens or carrot? ”

“Raju   please!!    Don’t you know carrot cooks fast” She is now wondering whether she is doing the right thing going to sleep on the dining room sofa .The problem with Beena is that she does not have an academic, perfectionist  mind like me.

 “Now what about cauliflower and peas?”

“Raju please forget it. Let me come and make it.” She was about to get up. Her trying to get up always works (she never really gets up; but it works for her) that was the limit; the last straw. After this I have to make my own assumptions and proceed.

Actually I know all this. But it is better to check up and clear your doubts before you embark on a serious venture like this. I know that this penchant for  clarity is a failing of mine.

 The kitchen is just an extension of the dining room. Sofa is hidden from view from the kitchen. She can’t see but hear everything. (Look at the top photograph)

Now I need Basmati rice. I remember buying “Champion Basmati rice” (buy one take one free).The free one is still there. Where did she keep It.?

“Bee.....” I caught myself mid way. Don’t call her, let her sleep.  . Poor thing. Further it will take away the kick of doing everything myself. I opened the first right cupboard .it was tight. I pulled it. It swung open with a noise. (I think I pulled it too hard)

“What is that noise?” Beena’s voice

Don’t  answer...wait; I tell myself

I  Pulled the Trolley from the down recess. It makes a slight grating noise (or a little more than slight).

“Raju. Rice is in the top left corner cup board.”

“Beena please sleep ma, I will handle everything .I have already got the rice.”

I would any way have found it. Why can’t she just sleep? I said to myself reaching for the packet.  

I have to be careful now about the proportion of water to rice   .For ordinary rice you put one is to two .For basmati it should be less because rice should retain its shape and form though boiled. One water and two rice or one rice and two water.  Mild confusion.   Sorted out by some simple logic followed by deduction.  ... One rice and two water(by volume and not by weight;if you are an engineer this question would have already come to you). Put some bay leaf.  Some elaichi. I like it heavy smelling. Beena likes it mild. So took two elaichi pods and bashed them and added to the rice.

I put the rice in the cooker and closed it. Repeated silently to myself ( I have heard it so often from beena that I had by hearted it)” Switch on the burner, put it in high ,wait for the sound of the whistle and then put the burner in sim, again  you wait for ten minutes. After that  close the burner.”I had my watch ready for monitoring the time. I am a process oriented guy and am very meticulous in all these timings etc.

Now I have to cut and boil four different vegetables.  All of them have different cooking times. Needs   some planning, organising and multi tasking to do this effectively. I sorted them in the descending order of boiling times .Beans, Alu, Carrot, Cauliflower, peas. Simple, adopt the cut and boil sequence for Beans first, then Alu (potato), after which comes carrot and last cauliflower. There are only three burners .I can’t use all the three as one is already occupied with rice. This is not a very complicated production planning problem for me. Cut beans put for boil in Barthan A; Cut Alu put for boil in Barthan B, Cut Cauliflower and put in Barthan C then at last cut carrot put in Barthan A along with beans, which is half cooked. Take the peas form the freezer and in the end add to any of the Barthans and boil it for maximum 5 mts... I knew that I was always good at production planning and control though my professors at IIM always thought differently.

“Raju!  Why is the cooker not making noise?”

 Burner was in high. I wonder why steam is not coming; I opened the lid of the cooker.  Oops! There was no water in the bottom. I don’t know why Beena emptys the cooker every time. She should keep some water always in the cooker.

“I have not yet put the cooker “.I pacified her

Any other answer would have made her rush to the spot to check if I have damaged the cooker. (I know that this is not going to damage the cooker ,as I had put the cooker through tougher conditions before and the cooker I know ,is made of sterner stuff. Only once had the cooker shown its belligerence by shooting out the valve.)I knew that what I told her was not a lie but a very human act. I don’t want to put her into mental torture. Considering how tired she is ,let her sleep in peace. Quickly I put some water and placed the cooker back.

Now   to use a peeler or knife for taking out the skin. I like to use the peeler but if I am not careful half the Alu and carrot comes away with the peeler.

“Did you wash the vegetables?”

I had almost forgotten to do that. She is very particular. I don’t see why you have to be so hygienic. After all we are in India and you can’t be that meticulous. Over hygiene will weaken us  and does  not help the body to build up  resistance to the local sturdy bacteria. But anyway can’t ignore her

“Beena; will you please sleep in peace. I have already washed everything”

I used the peeler effectively for carrot. I found knife faster for cutting the Alu

 “Hiss...Ouch” the cooker and I made the sound simultaneously.

I stared at the red strip of blood appearing where the knife had cut into my left index finger. I put it into my mouth to stop the blood flow. (Apart from putting my foot into my mouth for volunteering to make the pulav I have now the company of my index finger in my mouth)

“What happened?”

Danger .let her not come .She Will faint at the mess created here

After taking out the foot and finger from the mouth I say

“Nothing!!  Nothing!! Just a.....just a....Cockroach.”

“What!! Where!!”.........
I had made a bigger blunder. 
I hurriedly added as casually as possible under the circumstances

 “Don’t worry..... small one .I have already killed it. Inside the spoons cupboard” 

she does not mind the small ones which once in a while show up in the spoons drawer. Only at a critical size they become menacing to her.

Three Barathans (utensils) with vegetables were on fire and the multi tasking was on.  I was proudly surveying the work in progress. Of course I had to take out about twelve Barthans to find a suitable match of Barthan and the vegetable.  . Size of Burner, quantity of vegetables and the conductivity of the vessel are to be matched.

“Raju did you off the cooker?’

Ayyoyyo (Tamil equivalent for oops) I had forgotten .after the first hiss from the cooker (remember the one which came with my “ouch”) I should have   put the cooker in sim and then put off the cooker in ten minutes.   I put off the cooker immediately.

“Don’t worry I had already put it off. Please don t worry unnecessarily. I am totally under control”.

I don’t like this back seat driving.

 Since I have kept the cooker for longer time on the fire than intended, I have to cool it fast .Otherwise the rice will fuse together and the Pulav will become a bath. I took the cooker and held it under running water .As I was cooling it; I remembered that the potato should be boiled with salt .I kept the cooker in the sink and went looking for salt. So many times I told Beena not to use the same type of bottle for salt and sugar. She would not listen.  Carefully I selected the salt (checking by licking) and put into the boiling vegetables. What next.

“Raju!  Is there water flowing somewhere? Is the tap open?”

I forgot totally about the cooker and the sink. It looks as though she has a hidden camera installed in the kitchen

Closing the tap hurriedly I answered

“I was just washing my hand ...Beena  this is too much ...why don’t you just sleep?”

This unnecessary interference is very annoying.

 Now I have to make the Masala.  Offo!  I have forgotten to cut onion.

I took three onions and cut two of them into small bits. If I don’t cut it small Beena will not like it... It is actually a fight I had with the onion. I wish they would discover a fixture for holding the onion still when the three dimensional cutting had to be done. (I have now conceived a new design for “the cutter holder and smell absorber for onion cutting”. But the limitation is that it costs around 1000 Rs to make it. I plan to work on this and bring down the cost to 500 Rs. I am sure that this will sell like hot cakes if I price it at 500 Rs... What with growing no of males who are productivity oriented entering the kitchen scene). The circular rings were easier to cut for garnishing.

I took a Kadai and put oil for frying.  . Put the onions and turn on the burner.

Meanwhile the phone rang. That was my daughter.  She was talking about the preparations for the strategic management programme we were to conduct the following day at TYCO (she is my partner in business). She had some doubts and we were disusing.....

“Raju ...”

“I am on the phone Beena  ...What do you want?”I raised my voice slightly to make her realise who was the boss. I was mildly irritated. Does she not know that I am busy? She is always jealous of me when I talk to our daughter.

“Are you getting a burning smell?”

Oh! Oh!  I forgot that I was cooking; onion and oil were   on fire.

“Babli I will call you later “

A black mass of once- we- were- called- onion stared at me. I threw it out. This time I did not offer any comments to Beena.

Taking two more onions, cutting them and frying them took about fifteen minutes extra. The rings were also fried crisp and kept separately for garnishing. Then adding the three masala powders Chilly, Dhanaya and Turmeric to the onion made the basic masala ready.  ..... Then I added the vegetables. ....

“Why is it taking such a long time Raju? Why don’t you put the exhaust?

You must have heard of sleep walking but Beena does sleep talking.

The rice had come out very well.  She would appreciate it.

After garnishing with fried khaju in ghee and the crispy onion. I laid the table.

I had made Cucumber Raitha also. (It is not very simple and there are complications like salt to Dahi ratio, Dahi consistency chilly percentage etc. But we will not discuss it here).Before she comes to the table, from where she will have a full view of the kitchen, I will have to clean up. There should be no evidence of my style of cooking. I took all the used vessels and put it outside beyond her sight. Otherwise she will be upset with the fact that her full kitchen utensils are out. Let her find out about that leisurely in the morning. Or after eating the Pulav. No hurry for that.

She loved the pulav. She liked the “Separate Separate” rice, Cauliflower which was semi boiled (she likes it going Crunch Crunch), the hidden carrots (carrots were over boiled and had mingled with the pulav and almost lost their identity), the salty Alus which tasted yummy with rice and of course the crispy onion rings. She did make a comment on the missing peas which I had forgotten totally but she did not dwell on that.

I was elated. All this I was able to do independently.

Kamal jhi, Samuel or Subbu   or anyone else, next time you come home, I shall make for you my famous now perfected pulav.  Samuel please help me patent this “onion smell absorber with three dimensional cutter”.

Glossary:

Bhartan     utensils

Kadai         oil pan

Alu             potato

Raitha        yogurt based salad

 Dahi          yogurt

Dhaniya    coriander